Diversionary Daily

duck (pt 2)

In the fine tradition of my headlining spider vs. lavendar bout from last year, I bring you this morning's insect adventures.

I woke up ridiculously early (I think 6am is early in most people's books, yeah?) and decided to water our near-dead front lawn, which is another story in itself. I wandered back into the house feeling that weird mix of sleep haze mixed with slight hayfever. The kind when you aren't aware that you've sneezed until afterwards. Or something like that.

Running across the floor near the door was a light brown cockroach. Light brown. Now maybe I'm an innocent in world of cockroaches, but I thought they were the Henry Ford of the insect world (any colour, as long as it's black), so I was tempted to grant clemancy based on it being a rare species, and briefly considered setting up a breeding colony in my ex-housemate's bedroom.

But then I realised, no, it's a cockroach.

Now it must be said that Doc Marten's are on this earth for three reasons: they are unhealthily comfortable; they look damn cool; and they can squash any insect in one whack. Unfortunately I didn't have any handy by the door, so that's pretty much irrelevant. What I did have was a slightly worn basketball.

So I did what any other guy who's crap at basketball would do — drop the ball on the roach. I think we all know where it went from there.

Posted on Friday, January 10, 2003 and filed under Life.

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